I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
