almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
