Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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