exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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