Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize