Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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