Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
