I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
