He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
