I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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