why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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