would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We got so high we made milksteak
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize