I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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