god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
