I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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