So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
