Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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