I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
