READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
