we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
