I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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