he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
