Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
