i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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