yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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