there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
