He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
