You're completely useless in the revolution.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just found puke in my bra..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
