You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
