ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
420 ftw
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
