you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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