I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
