He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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