so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
