I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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