I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
