I must be too annoying 4 u.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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