she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
