I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
