false alarm. still invincible.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
