Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
