Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
