Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Everyone says I win the strip club
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
