I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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