I heard we made out
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
