I'll bet she douches with gravy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize