Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
