your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
