The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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