Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
