How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I met the friendliest cop last night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
