Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
