I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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