I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I died a long time ago.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
