question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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