no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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