I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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