I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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