can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
is that a dick in a sweater?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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